Out of the Closet

Posted on October 15, 2012 by

By Christopher Scott

I’ve kept this secret for a long time. I remember feeling it for the first time as a child, but kept it to myself well into adulthood until I could no longer hide from it any longer. Finally, it became too difficult to keep inside, and in the last several years, I began some experimentation. I finally learned to express my feelings and emotions, and it was truly liberating.

I haven’t even shared the secret with my family, not even my mother and father. Not with my closest friends, even though I have wanted to so many times. What would happen if these people so close to me realized what had become of the strong, masculine man they thought they knew?

It was just too hard and too embarrassing. I felt like I would be judged, ostracized, and laughed at. I just wasn’t ready. Until now.

It’s time for me to come out of the closet. Mom, Dad, brothers, sister, friends, I am sorry you had to hear it like this, but it is true.

I am a Romance Novelist. Wow, that feels pretty good.

Seriously though, I have no idea how my transformation came about. Nothing in my past indicated I would become a romance writer. Granted, I was always a voracious reader and fancied writing a book some day, but figured it would be more in the tradition of my literary heroes, an important work of fiction following in the ink stains of Hemingway, Steinbeck, Rand, or even John Grisham for God’s sake.

Unfortunately, all I could do was write romance. And, while at first it was frustrating, eventually, I was able to reconcile this romantic obsession with my literary snobbery. One day it hit me that many of my favorite novels, even the classics, were at their heart romances. Think of Atlas Shrugged, Gone with the Wind, or A Farewell to Arms. All great novels by famous authors, all essentially love stories.

So, I continued to write. Finding my mid-life crisis at 40, I couldn’t buy a sports car or sleep with an undergrad, although lord knows I tried. No, the only thing I could do was churn out romance novels like it was my job.

Now, before you picture the heaving bosoms, cruel alpha males, and ridiculous cover art of the traditional romance novel, I’ve got to tell you, my stories are nothing like that. I tell stories of believable people engaged in daily life struggles, people like you and me. The characters are real, they are flawed, and eventually, their struggle to find love is either punished or rewarded just as it is in real life.

The end result is the Broken Man series, now available for purchase on this site. I guess if I had to label it, I would call the series a Reality Romance, exploring a man’s journey to find love and the women who guide him along the path. Regardless of labels, it truly is a gratifying experience to start with a blank page on my iPad and eventually turn that nothingness into an intricate story people around the world can enjoy.

More importantly, writing these stories has also helped me to heal the wounds of my past. Some people visit psychologists, many embrace religion, others find their fix through exercise, sports, friendships, work, or any number of ways. I find my fix by writing, and while it might be cliche, it truly is a cathartic experience.

That doesn’t mean I’m always happy with my work. My first novel was so bad that I later had it unpublished. I am also frustrated by my inability to progress beyond the twenty chapter, fifty thousand word, dual point of view format followed in my first two novels.

So, I am determined that my next novel will not only bring closure to the story, but will also broaden my scope as a writer. I plan on a full length novel of approximately eighty thousand words complete with a multi-person point of view and a more thorough development of characters. Look for it when the inspiration eventually strikes, probably sometime in late 2013.

I guess that’s about it. I hope you enjoy my works and be sure to know, they are intended for women and men, young, old, or in between. I also encourage you to continue your own search for happiness, whether it comes through writing romance novels, painting, singing opera, or any other activity, even seemingly embarrassing pursuits. You never know where you might find the fix for your brokenness, but when you do, I hope you will do as I did.

I hope you will come out of the closet too.

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Are You Broken?

Posted on October 14, 2012 by

By Christopher Scott

Are you broken?

A broken man, a shattered woman, possibly the possessor of a damaged soul.

That’s a good question, and not a simple one to answer.

Do you physically or mentally abuse your spouse and children?
Have you ever physically hurt another human being intentionally?
Have you ever been inappropriate with a child?
Do you not feel remorse or regret for your actions?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are not broken. You are a
sick, sadistic excuse for a human being in desperate need of counseling and likely
incarceration. This site is not for you.

Have you abused drugs or alcohol?
Do you eat too much or not nearly enough?
Are you a Workaholic?
Do you exercise obsessively or not at all?
Do you experience difficulty with interpersonal relationships and have trouble expressing your feelings and emotions?
Have you remained involved in a physically or mentally abusive relationship?
Have you been prescribed medication for anxiety or depression?
Do you consider yourself unhappy?

If you answered yes to any of these questions or embrace other self-destructive
behaviors, consider yourself broken, and welcome to the site. These and other behaviors are indicative of an underlying problem, and congratulations on having taken the first step towards a fix by identifying your brokenness.

And that’s really what we’re all about at Broken Man. Sure, the past is important and sometimes we need to remember our history in order to move towards a better future. But, we are not going to dwell too much on past events or behaviors, regardless of how damaging they may have been. That would simply be counterproductive to our goal of finding a fix to our brokenness and possibly living happily in the future.

We hope you enjoy Broken Man, and we promise not to take ourselves too seriously while making the greatest effort to keep the site fresh, updated, and thought provoking. We also hope you will become a valued member of the Broken Man family and help to expand our support system by inviting your broken friends and damaged loved ones to share in our community.

Thanks for joining us, and welcome to you, my fellow broken man.

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This Is 44

Posted on January 8, 2013 by

By Christopher Scott

Christopher ScottI turned 44 today. Really the same as any age, but this year feels different. Different because I’m entering a new phase in life.

The transition started four years ago at 40. I was done. Done with work, done with people, just done. I finally said enough and retired from basically everything.

I became a recluse. Fortunate to be able to make a living playing cards and investing, I was finally able to live life on my own terms. I could speak my mind, choose my friends, and schedule my time as I saw fit, without any regard for political correctness or any worry that I would again be lied to, manipulated, or used.

It was refreshing. I was able to pursue activities and interests I was passionate about. I wrote three books, got into the best shape of my life, and offered my help to people I cared about. I even took up golf again after having abandoned my former career. Sure, it was a struggle at times, but overall, I was happy.

However, in the last year, restlessness set in. I needed more. More challenges, more passion, more stimulation. My novel writing phase complete and my poker playing career no longer as inspiring, it was time for a new challenge.

Fortunately, opportunities presented themselves as 2012 came to a close. First, I decided to not only publish my novels but also to let people know about my work. The response has been overwhelmingly positive, and I was surprised to have stumbled upon another potential source of income as well as another pursuit, promoting my books.

I also decided to reenter the business world. Having turned down several opportunities during the last few years, I was at last presented a chance to partner with someone honest, a person I could trust. The early returns spectacular, I expect this business to grow exponentially.

But, even after capitalizing on these new ventures, there was something still missing. And, I knew exactly what that something was.

I looked at the lives of my friends, people I knew in high school, in college, peers I know now. Certainly, some were happy, some not so much, but overwhelmingly, they had something I didn’t. Something that, despite all their other problems, invariably brought them happiness, understandably delivered fulfillment. Most of my friends had children.

Now, for me, having children has never been the no-brainer it seems to be for most. I’ve always doubted my abilities as a father after a dysfunctional upbringing, and until now, it was probably best I didn’t have children. But, the last several years have opened my eyes to what a good father I would be.

So, I’m moving in a new direction. Where it leads, who knows. But, I am done shutting myself off from new experiences. I am finished protecting my broken heart.

This is 44, and it feels pretty good.

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New Year

Posted on January 1, 2013 by

By Christopher Scott

I created Brokenman.net on October 1st, 2012, ostensibly to promote and sell my Broken Man series of novels. Not being a technophile, a friend helped me get started, and I was surprised at how quickly the site was up and running and the many options soon presented, including the ability to interact with my own internet community. The opportunity too good to pass up, I quickly realized that Brokenman.net could be so much more than just a sales facilitator.

I also realized I had something to say, as if writing 100,000 words of fiction hadn’t already alerted me to the possibility. But, that was fiction. Stories that, although loosely based on real life people and events, didn’t fully express what I was feeling, what I was trying to get at. I had to figure out why I was writing these novels, why I had always felt so broken. And I wondered, did other people feel the same way?

So, I decided to write.

I spent November participating in National Novel Writing month and adding content to my website. I wrote about love, about relationships, about past events, about finding a fix. A private person by nature, I found it liberating to express myself so honestly yet anonymously, and I was now able to share my thoughts on various events occurring both in my life and in the world around us.

I also showed my work to a few people, actually a couple friends and several near strangers. Their response was overwhelmingly positive, and my new readers assured me that my product was good and my skills rapidly improving. Self doubt temporarily shelved, I was also informed that my content was spot on, particularly in light of the difficult social and economic environment we currently face.

Throughout the autumn and into the winter, I understood that I had a decision to make. Was I ready to come out of the closet as a writer? Was I ready to share my thoughts and feelings with the world? I didn’t know the answers to those questions, but I also knew it was ridiculous to continue writing while never sharing with an audience. So, after cleaning up the site and adding some additional content, I decided to set a deadline for myself.

January 1st, 2013 was the date I set, the resolution I made if you will. That was the day I would go viral. The date circled on my calendar, I made it through the holidays, not sure if I would be able to stick with the deadline.

January 1st finally arrived. The site certainly looked good, even if it contained a bevy of personal thoughts I was still uncomfortable sharing. Hoping to find a last minute excuse to not go public, I made one final run through of the site and prepared a mass email. Everything checked out, and the only all task remaining was to hit the send button.

I balked. It was truly a leap of faith moment as I decided whether or not to share these writings that might shock my audience, many of whom were family and friends. As my finger hovered over the send button, I asked myself one final time is it worth it.

Then, I hit send.

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